TEARS FOR BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

I dig Frank Sinatra. In the early 1960's the song "Fly Me to the Moon" was a big hit 'cause dating and walking at the park by the light of the silvery moon was really romantic. Women's beauty was poetically compared to the mystic moon and its goddess Diana. But that was before men landed on the moon. Since then, the moon became a symbol of pock marked faces. 

Then Rock and Roll took over with Elvis and the Beatles. Then in the 1970's came the regal rock group, the "Queen" with their hit song "The Bohemian Rhapsody".  I did not like the song then. Never did like all the yelling and bastardized opera music. I stuck to the music of the 1960's and the 1970's, appreciating a few song from the 1980's on. But things changed a bit after we watched the bio-movie of Freddie Mercury and his band.

He was a musical genius of his time and his rendition of the song "Love of My Life" can really get into you. The movie was well made and the final scene of Freddie singing "The Bohemian Rhapsody" caused me to shed some tears. His life was no different from other rock stars and celebrities who cannot handle the curse of fame. But he was one of the "lucky ones". Stricken with the AIDS virus, he was able to reconcile with the people who mattered most to him and vindicated himself by reuniting with his old band and performing to the biggest crowd ever assembled to watch a concert. Unlike the grief-stricken big names who chose the easy way out by committing suicide, he faced all the pains and found his inner peace before his demise.

Now 5 of his hits songs are on my playlist and he too has filled a slot in my idol list of stars who dealt life in their own unusual way. Sinatra, who defined his life through the song "My Way",still is my guy but not very far behind together with Muhammad Ali, Magic Johnson, George Foreman and Arthur Ashe. These guys all suffered a sudden twist of fate, Ali with Parkinson's , George Foreman with his humiliating losses to Ali and Young and early retirement from boxing, Magic's struggle with AIDS, and Arthur Ashe's cancer, but dealt with the pains and bounced back with questioning God's Divine will.

Hope everybody has the time to see this movie ...

From "The Diary of Anne Frank"  --

" In spite of everything, I still believe that people

are really good at heart. "

"I don't think of all the misery,

but of the beauty that still remains."

Anne Frank's Diary was written by a 14 year old Jewish girl, who together with her family hid in an attic for over 2 years before they were discovered and sent by the Nazis to the concentration camp. She, with her mother and an elder sister died, and was survived only by her father who found the diary inside their hiding place after the war.  Anne's father had the diary published and the book became a classic and a timeless testament to the human spirit..

Despite her tender age, she wrote with an adult's wisdom. She loved life despite the cruelties brought about by war and chose to make her life a testimony that even in its simplest element, thoughts well written with stubborn honesty could leave a mark in human history. 

 
The book contained her innermost thoughts including her romantic feelings for her beau. Since she never meant her thoughts to be open to the public, she expressed her willingness to be kissed and caressed, which the Catholic hierarchy considered obscene and recommended that the book be banned from public libraries and discourage people from reading the book. The book was listed in the "Librorum Prohibitorum", translated as prohibited books by the Catholic church.

The book became a classic, withstanding the test of time. Rarely a month pass that no customer would not inquire if we have the book in our inventory. Its always on top of the list among classic readers. I have read two versions of the book and I find the one originally published by his father that contained the photocopied pages of her diary as the more interesting read than the more widely published book entitled "The Diary of a Young Girl". The latter is easier to decipher and contained the refined sugarcoated version of the diary. The first is more authentic.

Whichever version you read however,  is enough to satisfy your curiosity why the book ranks high in the annals of classic novels. Its a different rendition of the second world war seen from a hiding place. Living in constant fear for over two years, robbing you of some of the best years of your life.

"  War does not determine who is right

-  only who is left. "

 ---- Bretrand Russel

FATHER AND SON

" Just when I am beginning to understand my father's ways, 

I have a son who thinks I'm wrong ... "

                                                                                                                                                 ---   Anonymous

" No matter what you do with your son, he will always 

try to be like his father. " 
                                                                                                                                          --  Chinese Proverb

Called up my father a couple of days ago.  He was in high spirit despite being in sickbed for over a week and he said jokingly that he was just practicing how to die. He'll be 90 years old 5 months from now and he was hoping to make his birthday a "last hurrah." Mom died about 7 years ago and no matter how hard he tried to hide it, he feel the loneliness of living in solitude.

He has accepted the inevitable, at peace with himself knowing he has a good run, and we have said our goodbyes knowing that I won't be there when he leaves. 

I never got to see my mother when she died. Denied a visitor's visa before, I won't undergo another run in with those  Canadian consuls who looks at you as a prospective TNT.  I have spent my early years doing my share of house chores and helping run my parents' business. I may have been bullheaded some of the time, but not most of the time, so at least I have earned a soft spot in my parents hearts. They have lived more than three decades of their lives in a foreign land and they have known eversince that the day will come when the phone calls would cease. Mom's memories have lived unsullied in my mind and I have so much of my dad's traits in me that death won't make much of a difference.

So as the song goes ...

The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through my instrument

              and his song is in my soul ...

My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band ...

I thank you for the music and your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go

I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got 

                                                                tough ...

And Papa I don't think I said "I love you" near enough ...

Dad was that way. He was not much into music - never even heard him voice out a song.

His means of trying to forge a bond was telling "x-rated jokes" and his escapades with women.

But he showered me with gifts when I was a kid. Took me to movies almost every week and never fail to slip a coin in my pocket before he leave home. He was not a perfect dad but his deeds were perfect examples that I imparted to my kids in return. He was just being himself most of the time - and he did his things mostly out of sight, taking the tasks of running our business when all my siblings are past asleep. I got to connect with the things he did for he would wake me up after preparing the goods we would sell the next day so I could carry on what he has started. 

That's one thing I picked up from him. I treated my kids like they were not kids.  I learned that kids prefer dad's lap than the soft sofa's cushions. I learned that kids prefer  dad's embrace than new jackets and sweaters.  I learned that they prefer listening to my stories than playing outside. I learned that they prefer my cooking than the junk foods they could buy from the variety stores. I learned that they enjoy watching television with me and their mother than playing video games. I learned that the kids value more our presence than "presents".  And most of all, my kids learned that their grandfather was my very much like their father.

NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN

"  We will travel as far as we can but we cannot in one

lifetime see all that we would like to see or

learn all that we hunger to know. "

                                                                                                                                                     ---  Loren Eisley

King Solomon, said to be the wisest man who ever lived, knew the value of knowledge. He knew that every proverb was a product of lifetime experiences that needed to be passed on through generations so he compiled them into 3 books now known as "The Book of Proverbs", "The Song of Songs"  and  "Ecclesiastes". It is said in the Bible that he was given unsurpassed wisdom by God but later squandered it by turning away from his faith.

One good thing about getting old is that you never stop learning and you get to tackle life with a bit more sense of urgency.  Life is slowly taking away the gifts that you once have. The once good eyesight has faded a bit, the body ached and some joints has stiffened and your memory is no longer as good as it used to be. And the experience of losing some of your friends and loved ones have taught you that your clock is ticking and it may stop any time. 

" A man is too apt to forget that in this world he cannot

have everything.  A choice is all that is left to him."

I forgot who quoted the verse, but there's a grain of truth to it. Our mind is different from other people's mind, as well as our feelings, but our life is is interlinked to other people's lives. Our life touches others just as other people touches our life. The only real choice that we have is what we do the time and space given to us. We are all planters. The reap what we sow. And when we die. the people we leave behind gather fruits from the memories we planted.

King Solomon advice was for us to seek enlightenment from books. Books are products of lifetime of works and experiences. It is through books that we could talk and listen to people who lived before us. It is through books that we could travel to different places and live in different times. It is through books that we get to bridge the generations from our origin to the present and maybe give us an idea what is in store for us in the future.

There will never be an end in the pursuit of knowledge. Even in this age of computers, the machines will never be able to figure our why men shed a tear when they hurt. For thousands of years men have never even succeeded in deciphering the "real nature of women" as much as they have figured out what makes a real man. And most of all, the word "love" will remain undefined, unmeasured, beyond reason and unfathomable.