Different people react differently in different situation. I do believe that the process of creation has never stopped - every second a new life is born. I don't remember seeing so many gay people around, or maybe there were a lot even in our times but most of them we're afraid to reveal their true nature lest they expose themselves to ridicule. Most people don't mind but they deplore seeing the public display especially the older generation. Whereas before the LGBT issue were being discussed in whispers, now the discussions are done in the open paving a clearer understanding on how to handle the situations. In your case, I can't think of a better scenario than waiting for the right moment when nature will take its own course. Your father may not have noticed or just trying to suppress his doubts but surely your mother knows - its a fact you could never hide from someone who reared you.
Filipinos are of a different mold. People who prides themselves of being real men like to ridicule gay people not because they don't like the LGBT crowd but morely because of their own insecurities. Men wouldn't admit it but a great deal of them too had some LGBT moments when they at least fantasized how it is to make out with people of different genders. When the "Phallic Brain" takes over, men think of perverted sex - any kind of hole they could put their thing into. History relates of a lot of perverted sex, even bestiality. Maybe that's one of the reason why Sigmund Freud theorized that men think of sex every seven minutes on average. Why God created the LGBT kind of thing maybe is not for earthlings to comprehend completely, but being there its a must to open our mind on how to handle it with all the knowledge and information we are provided with.
Could you just imagine the kind of dilemma Bruce Jenner had ? Imagine being called the "world's greatest athlete" during his generation, hailed and idolized by sports circle and adored by women. But inside was a "boiling feeling" of wanting to get out of the machismo prison he was in, pretending to everyone his true identity even to his own family. Our very own Rustum Padilla had the same dilemma having to contend with the "macho image" their family spearheaded in the silver screen. I guess they are happier now with their new assumed identities. I couldn't imagine how you're feeling right now and I am not in a position to render a better advice than anyone. I have read and seen movies about the LGBT thing and sometimes it helps a lot when you see that your so-called problem is also other people's problem. I don't want to call it a problem actually but a situation - something you have to learn to live with and be at the best you can be.
The grandeur of history would not have been so had all the artists of the past been all warrior kind of guys. The world of today would have been as colorful and eventful as they are had people were of the same nature - the so-called "freaks", "nerds", "dreamers" and "different people" made those things possible. Unhappiness results from comparing your self to other people, fear results from anticipating the consequences of things, and guilt results from thinking that what you have been doing is hurting other people. There are a lot of ways to handle these things - just keep and open mind, be with people whom you love for chances are they will love you back, and don't be afraid of getting hurt for its the mind and soul conditioning that make us feel we're alive, and most of all open your heart to love extended by people who care and faith to whoever you believe in.
*** ( Hope this is not the last e-mail I would get. Ask any question, even the crazy ones. I don't claim to be an expert but maybe you and I could figure things out. E-mail me at kuyaedperea@gmail.co )
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
Monday, October 16, 2017
WINNING AND LOSING
"A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents
Work his tail off to develop them into skill, and then relents
The pains and tears, uses the skills to accomplish his goals"
Says Larry Bird - the Boston Celtics' cager in his starring role
"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days
That you feel good", NBA superstar Jerry West also says
Basketball may just be a game, but Pros doesn't only play
They inspire, they entertain, and at times they lead the way
Millions are in the game but only a handful become superstars
No pain, no gain, willing work hard and toil to earn their spurs
But lest we forget that to be at the top, and to be the number one
Hundred guys have to line up trying to outdo n' bring you down
So they say, conquer the mountain so you can see the plains
Once you reach the top, no other way to go but down the drain
One must realize that falling is as natural as rising and winning
Fame and glory are the prize, pain and misery goes with losing
When you're down, the applause and cheers will but be memories
But its not hopeless for you can still go down with pride and praises
If you were good to the people who were around you when rising
They will catch you as you fall, and they will keep on believing
Good memories keep you going, smooth the ride while you're sliding
As you fall you may never be able to rise again, and quit on playing
People will remember, and never forget the guy who took the last shot
Won the championship when there was but a second in the shot clock,
Some players too tried hard but failed, always unable to take the grind
Yet kept the plays, the moves, the strategies, stack them up in their mind
So when they leave the game they have learned a lot, then hope to find
A rag tag team with unpolished talents then to teach them how to climb
As the saying goes - he who can't do, teach - being a loser you learn
Not everyone can be like Michael Jordan, so find another way to turn
A shattered pride ... maybe the pieces you need to build another dream
And mold unpolished talents to be better, lead, and be a winning team
Losing doesn't really make one a failure if he continues to move on
Its when you quit that failure becomes permanent, then you're done
But if ever you decide to hang on, and start all over and try to swim
You don't have to drown in sorrow, then you can teach others to win
Work his tail off to develop them into skill, and then relents
The pains and tears, uses the skills to accomplish his goals"
Says Larry Bird - the Boston Celtics' cager in his starring role
"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days
That you feel good", NBA superstar Jerry West also says
Basketball may just be a game, but Pros doesn't only play
They inspire, they entertain, and at times they lead the way
Millions are in the game but only a handful become superstars
No pain, no gain, willing work hard and toil to earn their spurs
But lest we forget that to be at the top, and to be the number one
Hundred guys have to line up trying to outdo n' bring you down
So they say, conquer the mountain so you can see the plains
Once you reach the top, no other way to go but down the drain
One must realize that falling is as natural as rising and winning
Fame and glory are the prize, pain and misery goes with losing
When you're down, the applause and cheers will but be memories
But its not hopeless for you can still go down with pride and praises
If you were good to the people who were around you when rising
They will catch you as you fall, and they will keep on believing
Good memories keep you going, smooth the ride while you're sliding
As you fall you may never be able to rise again, and quit on playing
People will remember, and never forget the guy who took the last shot
Won the championship when there was but a second in the shot clock,
Some players too tried hard but failed, always unable to take the grind
Yet kept the plays, the moves, the strategies, stack them up in their mind
So when they leave the game they have learned a lot, then hope to find
A rag tag team with unpolished talents then to teach them how to climb
As the saying goes - he who can't do, teach - being a loser you learn
Not everyone can be like Michael Jordan, so find another way to turn
A shattered pride ... maybe the pieces you need to build another dream
And mold unpolished talents to be better, lead, and be a winning team
Losing doesn't really make one a failure if he continues to move on
Its when you quit that failure becomes permanent, then you're done
But if ever you decide to hang on, and start all over and try to swim
You don't have to drown in sorrow, then you can teach others to win
Sunday, October 15, 2017
LIVING, LOVING AND LEARNING
Aristotle use to say - " Learning is always accompanied by pain."
Great books are over our head, at times hard but don't complain
That is why they need our attention, so listen to what they teach
Read and reread until our mind, our intelligence is on a stretch
A learned man, lover of life cannot be idle for he kills time by study
He becomes whole only when he can face life and always be ready
To tackle every hurdle that blocks his way to where he wants to go
Fail then try again until he's able to pursue things that he wants to do
Love what you're doing and not waste part of your life just to please
To display the qualities you do not possess to keep up with the Joneses
Gain applause you could not keep, to end at a loss and be frustrated
Unable to pretend any longer, be with the crowd you never wanted
Never be a slave of a reputation - the opinion other people have of you
Living the life that was not meant, acting a role, a face that is never true
Show your real colors, say what you really feel, and stop all the drama
Things maybe good for a while, but once they find out, that's your karma
Then don't settle for a love relationship that won't let you be the true you
Follow your heart, its the only thing that can give you the feel, to woo ...
Your heart know things that the mind can never explain and cannot see
Love and happiness goes hand in hand, two hearts as one, you and me
Once the love problem is solved, then learning is what will keep us going
Everyday we love we learn, everyday we learn we live, our chance to sing
About the love, about the past, about everything, places we came to pass
The goal is not to live forever but to enjoy our lives to the very last ...
Great books are over our head, at times hard but don't complain
That is why they need our attention, so listen to what they teach
Read and reread until our mind, our intelligence is on a stretch
A learned man, lover of life cannot be idle for he kills time by study
He becomes whole only when he can face life and always be ready
To tackle every hurdle that blocks his way to where he wants to go
Fail then try again until he's able to pursue things that he wants to do
Love what you're doing and not waste part of your life just to please
To display the qualities you do not possess to keep up with the Joneses
Gain applause you could not keep, to end at a loss and be frustrated
Unable to pretend any longer, be with the crowd you never wanted
Never be a slave of a reputation - the opinion other people have of you
Living the life that was not meant, acting a role, a face that is never true
Show your real colors, say what you really feel, and stop all the drama
Things maybe good for a while, but once they find out, that's your karma
Then don't settle for a love relationship that won't let you be the true you
Follow your heart, its the only thing that can give you the feel, to woo ...
Your heart know things that the mind can never explain and cannot see
Love and happiness goes hand in hand, two hearts as one, you and me
Once the love problem is solved, then learning is what will keep us going
Everyday we love we learn, everyday we learn we live, our chance to sing
About the love, about the past, about everything, places we came to pass
The goal is not to live forever but to enjoy our lives to the very last ...
Saturday, October 14, 2017
WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT
Take this one from Ralph Waldo Emerson :
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely...
So many ways life has been defined but what is it really all about ?
We end up pursuing happiness, with riches it can never be bought
For happiness is a by product of loving, and a life well lived
Of giving as well as receiving, and not doing what God forbids
Just think about it - if you were paid a hundred for every good deed
At the end of your days, will you be rich ? If not, then you bungled
For doing good is the rent we pay for the space we occupy on earth
Failing to do so we still have a chance, before you die renew your faith
Life is a grindstone, whether it grinds you down or polishes you up
Depends on your character and what you're made up, so be tough
It goes with saying, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going
You may be knocked down but try to get up, and just keep on moving
Even if you're failing, don't stop if you're moving at the right direction
Inch by inch, who knows. there may still be time to win, be a champion
For if we cannot build a good fortune for our self, at least we tried ...
As we grow older at least we can say we're not a quitter with pride !
Its Ok not to be Ok, just don't stay that way - always strive to get better
Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may lead us nowhere
God had given us more than we need but not enough to satisfy our greed
Once you learn how to love life then you are ready to plant a good seed
Someday we too will say goodbye, people who love us will surely cry
But we should leave them without having to explain the reasons why
For a good tree to grow a seed had to die, be buried so it could sprout
A new life with new meaning, and to pass on the good sap from its roots
Someday you will all look back and know exactly why it had to happen
The past is your lesson, the present's your gift, and the future to brighten
At times we don't know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory
It hurts to let go but at times hurt more to hold on, so set yourself free ...
As Maya Angelou use to say - "Our live is not measured by the number
of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that our breath away."
The greatest challenge is discovering who you are, and what kind
And the second greatest challenge is being happy with what you find
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it well and serenely...
So many ways life has been defined but what is it really all about ?
We end up pursuing happiness, with riches it can never be bought
For happiness is a by product of loving, and a life well lived
Of giving as well as receiving, and not doing what God forbids
Just think about it - if you were paid a hundred for every good deed
At the end of your days, will you be rich ? If not, then you bungled
For doing good is the rent we pay for the space we occupy on earth
Failing to do so we still have a chance, before you die renew your faith
Life is a grindstone, whether it grinds you down or polishes you up
Depends on your character and what you're made up, so be tough
It goes with saying, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going
You may be knocked down but try to get up, and just keep on moving
Even if you're failing, don't stop if you're moving at the right direction
Inch by inch, who knows. there may still be time to win, be a champion
For if we cannot build a good fortune for our self, at least we tried ...
As we grow older at least we can say we're not a quitter with pride !
Its Ok not to be Ok, just don't stay that way - always strive to get better
Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may lead us nowhere
God had given us more than we need but not enough to satisfy our greed
Once you learn how to love life then you are ready to plant a good seed
Someday we too will say goodbye, people who love us will surely cry
But we should leave them without having to explain the reasons why
For a good tree to grow a seed had to die, be buried so it could sprout
A new life with new meaning, and to pass on the good sap from its roots
Someday you will all look back and know exactly why it had to happen
The past is your lesson, the present's your gift, and the future to brighten
At times we don't know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory
It hurts to let go but at times hurt more to hold on, so set yourself free ...
As Maya Angelou use to say - "Our live is not measured by the number
of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that our breath away."
The greatest challenge is discovering who you are, and what kind
And the second greatest challenge is being happy with what you find
Friday, October 13, 2017
LEARNED MAN VERSUS AN EDUCATED MAN
Mark twain said, don't let your schooling interfere with your education
Yet still it is not enough to be educated, gotta use it and put it in motion
The school helps, it is your first step for confidence and for recognition
But it will take years of experience and good works to earn a reputation
Teachers teach but you need good books as well to get more information
Great books were written by the greatest liberal artists and men of vision
For they taught one another and taught all the previous, older generations
Surely they can teach us more if we'll only figure out the right questions
Liberal, t'was called the education enjoyed by the privileged and the rich
So there is no reason why liberal education should be beyond our reach
We have to overcome the innate human tendency to underrate our class
The rich look down on everyone who don't belong, " they are not us ! "
People who don't share their background, they cannot have their ability
They will put you down, and they'll push you out of their elite society
But remember, the great books came out of ignorant, inquiring humanity
Most of them were written for, and addressed to us, poor people ordinary
That is why great books are great teachers, so heed all, all of us readers
Pay attention, get as much information, we will not be mere pretenders
Knowing and learning, that's how we can call our self a human being
Able to understand, pursue the highest point we're capable of attaining
Make time, learn the art of re-reading, books you read when you're 16
Age makes a difference... understanding some things you have not seen
You will find out that you have missed something, a new kind of feeling
No matter how hard your mind before, you'll be surprised, its working !
Yet still it is not enough to be educated, gotta use it and put it in motion
The school helps, it is your first step for confidence and for recognition
But it will take years of experience and good works to earn a reputation
Teachers teach but you need good books as well to get more information
Great books were written by the greatest liberal artists and men of vision
For they taught one another and taught all the previous, older generations
Surely they can teach us more if we'll only figure out the right questions
Liberal, t'was called the education enjoyed by the privileged and the rich
So there is no reason why liberal education should be beyond our reach
We have to overcome the innate human tendency to underrate our class
The rich look down on everyone who don't belong, " they are not us ! "
People who don't share their background, they cannot have their ability
They will put you down, and they'll push you out of their elite society
But remember, the great books came out of ignorant, inquiring humanity
Most of them were written for, and addressed to us, poor people ordinary
That is why great books are great teachers, so heed all, all of us readers
Pay attention, get as much information, we will not be mere pretenders
Knowing and learning, that's how we can call our self a human being
Able to understand, pursue the highest point we're capable of attaining
Make time, learn the art of re-reading, books you read when you're 16
Age makes a difference... understanding some things you have not seen
You will find out that you have missed something, a new kind of feeling
No matter how hard your mind before, you'll be surprised, its working !
Sunday, October 8, 2017
BUENA MANO : QUESTION > DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE ?
First e-mail question I got was rather tricky. I have a feeling that she's baiting me into committing myself - but it doesn't really matter what I believe in, its what you believe in that really counts. The Bible is a great book and everyone should devote some time to get acquainted with teachings for it laid the foundation of the Christian world. For over 2000 years, generation after generation have debated about the messages the Bible reveal, but instead of uniting the so-called Christians it only caused more divisions among them. Each espousing their own interpretation, we therefore have the choice which one to believe.
I remember one glaring scene in the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow"- a group of survivors clammed in inside a US national library while those left outside were all frozen to death. To keep themselves from freezing, they were forced to burn the books so they can keep warm. The librarian who was in charge set aside a bible which he kept near.. When asked why, he answered that though he doesn't believe in God, he said it was the first print of the Bible, and once all of them are gone it will be the only remaining proof that a civilization once existed. Historically, that's the importance of the Bible. Its other importance is the attached belief that the words written therein were the words of God dictated to the prophets for man to understand the workings of the Supreme Being.
We are all defined with what we believe in, the books we read, the songs we listen to, the movies we watch. All human beings are genetically 99 percent similar with one another but its the 1 percent difference that gives life and living all the excitements. We've made ourselves different from other animals because only humans can kill from a distance. Animals kill for food. Only humans kill for fun. And only humans worship a God that they could not touch and see. Only humans leave a legacy, and the Bible is one of the greatest legacy of civilization. Its not the earliest though. There were some written dogmas centuries earlier, but to the Christian world the Bible is the only truth that should be believed.
Going back to the question if I believe in the Bible. I believe it was written with the noblest intentions - and if ever you have experienced how it feels to be at your end of the rope, it could provide with the strength to go on and feel that there is a Great Someone who watches over you. "Not even a sparrow will fall down the earth without my permission" - I remember reading that in the Bible. If you can believe that with all your heart, then you have experienced how it is to have "faith" in God. I believe that God communicates with us every minute of the day. I am now 58 years of age and approximately my heart has pumped 2,325,000,000 times. At least about a third of that life I spent sleeping - helpless and unaware of everything that is happening. Surely Someone watches over us during that time. As Einstein said in one of his interviews - " Being spiritual is different from being religious. Its either you don't believe in miracles or you believe everyday is a miracle.
One thing I learned in all those readings - you also have to unlearn first the things you have learned about something before you truly understand what you wish to understand. Only when the cup is empty that it can be filled - so empty your cup first. Its is never wrong to open all doors you have a key to see what is inside before you can describe what is in it and not rely on someone else what they have seen inside it. We have but a limited time and no age have spoken with a single voice. There always was a major disagreement. But it is also wrong to dismiss the wisdom of the sages of the former times. Our heart will lead us into it if only we follow where it leads. Reading the Bible with an open heart is a good start.
I remember one glaring scene in the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow"- a group of survivors clammed in inside a US national library while those left outside were all frozen to death. To keep themselves from freezing, they were forced to burn the books so they can keep warm. The librarian who was in charge set aside a bible which he kept near.. When asked why, he answered that though he doesn't believe in God, he said it was the first print of the Bible, and once all of them are gone it will be the only remaining proof that a civilization once existed. Historically, that's the importance of the Bible. Its other importance is the attached belief that the words written therein were the words of God dictated to the prophets for man to understand the workings of the Supreme Being.
We are all defined with what we believe in, the books we read, the songs we listen to, the movies we watch. All human beings are genetically 99 percent similar with one another but its the 1 percent difference that gives life and living all the excitements. We've made ourselves different from other animals because only humans can kill from a distance. Animals kill for food. Only humans kill for fun. And only humans worship a God that they could not touch and see. Only humans leave a legacy, and the Bible is one of the greatest legacy of civilization. Its not the earliest though. There were some written dogmas centuries earlier, but to the Christian world the Bible is the only truth that should be believed.
Going back to the question if I believe in the Bible. I believe it was written with the noblest intentions - and if ever you have experienced how it feels to be at your end of the rope, it could provide with the strength to go on and feel that there is a Great Someone who watches over you. "Not even a sparrow will fall down the earth without my permission" - I remember reading that in the Bible. If you can believe that with all your heart, then you have experienced how it is to have "faith" in God. I believe that God communicates with us every minute of the day. I am now 58 years of age and approximately my heart has pumped 2,325,000,000 times. At least about a third of that life I spent sleeping - helpless and unaware of everything that is happening. Surely Someone watches over us during that time. As Einstein said in one of his interviews - " Being spiritual is different from being religious. Its either you don't believe in miracles or you believe everyday is a miracle.
One thing I learned in all those readings - you also have to unlearn first the things you have learned about something before you truly understand what you wish to understand. Only when the cup is empty that it can be filled - so empty your cup first. Its is never wrong to open all doors you have a key to see what is inside before you can describe what is in it and not rely on someone else what they have seen inside it. We have but a limited time and no age have spoken with a single voice. There always was a major disagreement. But it is also wrong to dismiss the wisdom of the sages of the former times. Our heart will lead us into it if only we follow where it leads. Reading the Bible with an open heart is a good start.
Saturday, September 23, 2017
A MASTERS OF ARTS DEGREE IN DAYDREAMING
I earned my PRC license in 1983 on my second try. I was not really very proud of it then since I was the only one who failed in our first try ( there were 24 of us and one landed 2nd place). It made my parents real proud but unfortunately their dream was not my dream. I did landed a good job, a promising one during that time, since we were assigned at the fore front of the planned water service project that would modernize the entire Metro-Manila. Unfortunately, Cory Aquino came to power and decreed that all Marcos proposed projects are to be shelved and that ended our dream of becoming the future project managers of other project components that were soon to follow.
The new administration that prided itself to be incorruptible bloated the MWSS plantilla from 3000+ to 16,000+ employees in just over a year and it was no surprise that after 4 years, the company went bankrupt and had to be privatized. I ended up in a job assignment that was a poor use of our training while my peers found work in the Middle-East constructing desalinization plants and underground silos for defensive weapons. Having had over a year of experience how lonesome it was to be in a field assignment where you could only go home on weekends, I opted not to go since I was then newly married and yearly furlough to me then was unthinkable. Besides, no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't use to playing the kind of game one had to play in a corporate world. My heart was simply not into it and I sought escape from the pressure and stress that managing other people brings.
It was then that I came back to where I started from, having acted as a second to my father in running our fruit business. I opted for a different product though, conducive to my moods and compulsive behavior. And that was how I ended up with the book business. Everyday for the last 27 years I do nothing but read, scrawl notes, watch movies, exchange ideas with customers, and do some writing at the end of the day. I earn from the effort to provide for my family's needs and get to daydream the minutes in between. As Goodrich use to say, " I have earned my Master of Art degree in Daydreaming."
It was a complete turn around from the world I use to live in - and since that day I have neglected connecting with former friends until I found myself detached. I found no need for a cellphone that I stopped using one about ten years ago. My world became my family, my bookstore, and my imagination. My counter became my podium where I get to share the useless information I picked up from the books I read and movies and documentaries I've seen. My suppose to be legacy lies in the volumes of scrapbooks I've kept through the years of notes and cut-outs pasted on its pages. Add to this the blogging and the playlist that I hope my kids would one day find interest playing for them to be reminded me of when I'm gone.
All my kids turned out to be more interested in numbers than the letters I have enjoyed juggling through all my years. But up to this time, they still listen to whatever I have to say and still find my jokes funny. So I guess it would just be a matter of time when they would one day turn the pages of the cartoons and jokes I clipped from the old magazine and newspaper I read. The things I wrote which I never got to say to them, would one day too will be read so they'll know that even when we're not together its them I have in mind most of the time. Never wanted to hold them on a leash, for I thought that the less rules I make, the less I have to worry about them breaking it. To see them laughing, smiling, and home each was more than what could make my day. Hope that maybe when they are gone and had families of their own they'll still try to connect with us. I don't like to bet on that but one thing sure, so I stocked up memories to hang on when I have nothing more to do but ride on my rocking chair waiting for my time to end.
I am not stopping. With visions fading, as well as my troubled hearing, and arthritis crippling my hands, I still continue with my reading, my writings, my cut-outs, and my talking. I have yet to earn my Doctorate degree in caring. I've been down so many times, I haven't really leveled up to a day when I can do more than just share my thoughts. I hope someday I could still have time to connect with the old friends and relatives. I had to tell them that I haven't really forgotten the good times we've had. Just have to leave for a long while to nurse my wounds and once completely healed, get back to them and share some good times together.
The new administration that prided itself to be incorruptible bloated the MWSS plantilla from 3000+ to 16,000+ employees in just over a year and it was no surprise that after 4 years, the company went bankrupt and had to be privatized. I ended up in a job assignment that was a poor use of our training while my peers found work in the Middle-East constructing desalinization plants and underground silos for defensive weapons. Having had over a year of experience how lonesome it was to be in a field assignment where you could only go home on weekends, I opted not to go since I was then newly married and yearly furlough to me then was unthinkable. Besides, no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't use to playing the kind of game one had to play in a corporate world. My heart was simply not into it and I sought escape from the pressure and stress that managing other people brings.
It was then that I came back to where I started from, having acted as a second to my father in running our fruit business. I opted for a different product though, conducive to my moods and compulsive behavior. And that was how I ended up with the book business. Everyday for the last 27 years I do nothing but read, scrawl notes, watch movies, exchange ideas with customers, and do some writing at the end of the day. I earn from the effort to provide for my family's needs and get to daydream the minutes in between. As Goodrich use to say, " I have earned my Master of Art degree in Daydreaming."
It was a complete turn around from the world I use to live in - and since that day I have neglected connecting with former friends until I found myself detached. I found no need for a cellphone that I stopped using one about ten years ago. My world became my family, my bookstore, and my imagination. My counter became my podium where I get to share the useless information I picked up from the books I read and movies and documentaries I've seen. My suppose to be legacy lies in the volumes of scrapbooks I've kept through the years of notes and cut-outs pasted on its pages. Add to this the blogging and the playlist that I hope my kids would one day find interest playing for them to be reminded me of when I'm gone.
All my kids turned out to be more interested in numbers than the letters I have enjoyed juggling through all my years. But up to this time, they still listen to whatever I have to say and still find my jokes funny. So I guess it would just be a matter of time when they would one day turn the pages of the cartoons and jokes I clipped from the old magazine and newspaper I read. The things I wrote which I never got to say to them, would one day too will be read so they'll know that even when we're not together its them I have in mind most of the time. Never wanted to hold them on a leash, for I thought that the less rules I make, the less I have to worry about them breaking it. To see them laughing, smiling, and home each was more than what could make my day. Hope that maybe when they are gone and had families of their own they'll still try to connect with us. I don't like to bet on that but one thing sure, so I stocked up memories to hang on when I have nothing more to do but ride on my rocking chair waiting for my time to end.
I am not stopping. With visions fading, as well as my troubled hearing, and arthritis crippling my hands, I still continue with my reading, my writings, my cut-outs, and my talking. I have yet to earn my Doctorate degree in caring. I've been down so many times, I haven't really leveled up to a day when I can do more than just share my thoughts. I hope someday I could still have time to connect with the old friends and relatives. I had to tell them that I haven't really forgotten the good times we've had. Just have to leave for a long while to nurse my wounds and once completely healed, get back to them and share some good times together.
HINDI PALA AKO NAG-IISA
While I was scanning an old Jeepney Magazine (no longer in circulation) I could hardly believe an article I read about an old friend in my high school days. He was no extra-ordinary student during our days but he was a good-looking Spanish mestiso and I would say a great storyteller. It was no surprised to me when we met 10 years after high school already a made man.
He finished B.S. Chemistry and easily landed a job at Unilab as a Med-Representative, and became one of the company's top salesman. On one of his seminars in China ably convinced a CEO of company manufacturing medical equipment to have him as act as the firm's sales conduit in the Philippines. He was given a budget, a fat salary, and all the backing he needed to make good. He was then earning millions even before he turned 30. We had some get together with some other old friends which ended in promises that we'll get in touch in later years. That was the last time I heard about the guy.
That day, some 30 years later, he was featured in four colored pages of the Jeepney Magazine operating a sort of shelter for abandoned and orphaned kids, taking care of their education until they let them go on their own after graduating from high school. There was no glamour in the job, and surely no high financial reward but he sure looked happy with his wife and with what he was doing. That article made me happy too - at least I am not alone in doing the kind of thing I wanted most.
I remember him telling me privately how frustrated he was with his job then, having have the play the dirty games of dealing with people who always demand something "extra" for them to approve the permits in importing their products as well as the corrupt doctors who wanted beautiful escort in their seminars abroad provided by the company before they approve the acquisition of the medical equipment. He said he felt "dirty" doing those things. Now, I am very sure he feels "clean".
He finished B.S. Chemistry and easily landed a job at Unilab as a Med-Representative, and became one of the company's top salesman. On one of his seminars in China ably convinced a CEO of company manufacturing medical equipment to have him as act as the firm's sales conduit in the Philippines. He was given a budget, a fat salary, and all the backing he needed to make good. He was then earning millions even before he turned 30. We had some get together with some other old friends which ended in promises that we'll get in touch in later years. That was the last time I heard about the guy.
That day, some 30 years later, he was featured in four colored pages of the Jeepney Magazine operating a sort of shelter for abandoned and orphaned kids, taking care of their education until they let them go on their own after graduating from high school. There was no glamour in the job, and surely no high financial reward but he sure looked happy with his wife and with what he was doing. That article made me happy too - at least I am not alone in doing the kind of thing I wanted most.
I remember him telling me privately how frustrated he was with his job then, having have the play the dirty games of dealing with people who always demand something "extra" for them to approve the permits in importing their products as well as the corrupt doctors who wanted beautiful escort in their seminars abroad provided by the company before they approve the acquisition of the medical equipment. He said he felt "dirty" doing those things. Now, I am very sure he feels "clean".
Friday, September 22, 2017
LAST STORE STANDING
It takes years to build a reputation. To be acknowledged, to be well known was farthest from my mind when I started this business about 27 years ago. I loved it, and after about a year I knew inside that this is the kind of life I wanted. Its true, come hell or high waters, you'll find me at the same place 365 days a year, 8am to 9pm, browsing and scrawling about the old books I had acquired, repairing the torn covers, sanding the edges, and trying to make them worth reading.
The kind of life is very far from the first one I started which I too enjoyed but being in the field of construction and technology is simply not me. I want to appreciate what I have in me every moment and share it with people who too are trying to find answers to questions they are afraid to ask. An older customer once told me that I just don't sell books for a living but I also sell ideas and inspiration to some who needed the push to pursue what they wanted in life. I never thought of it that way - I just love to talk but I learned that to be effective I had to back my talks with a lot of knowledge and information. And in books and movies is where I get it from.
The book business was good to us for I was able to provide for my family and send my kids through college. But like all kind of business, it has its ups and downs, and when you're down and still shining, some moneyed guys want to takeover your business. All the stalls around me had been vacated and empty and my place is now a dead spot in the commercial complex I'm in. Its a make or break deal for me unless I am able to come up with something to show the management that the store is worth maintaining for they are now vent of having other moneyed establishment occupy the space. Moving inside the inner core of the dry goods section would surely mean the demise of our bookstore considering how unfriendly the mall have managed the place and the rent is not really that affordable.
Sad as it may, I am not considering of selling the business to someone who could manage it better - improve the store, better shelves, lightings, more goods to sell aside from books. Considering the number of faithful customers who had patronized my store through all those years that had allowed us to stay in business while all around us was suffering from losses, I believe a much improved bookstore and general merchandise would still make good. For me its not the end of a dream but having a dream live beyond me.
I am open to offers, even as a minor partner if ever I am still needed to operate the store. I still have until the end of the year...
The kind of life is very far from the first one I started which I too enjoyed but being in the field of construction and technology is simply not me. I want to appreciate what I have in me every moment and share it with people who too are trying to find answers to questions they are afraid to ask. An older customer once told me that I just don't sell books for a living but I also sell ideas and inspiration to some who needed the push to pursue what they wanted in life. I never thought of it that way - I just love to talk but I learned that to be effective I had to back my talks with a lot of knowledge and information. And in books and movies is where I get it from.
The book business was good to us for I was able to provide for my family and send my kids through college. But like all kind of business, it has its ups and downs, and when you're down and still shining, some moneyed guys want to takeover your business. All the stalls around me had been vacated and empty and my place is now a dead spot in the commercial complex I'm in. Its a make or break deal for me unless I am able to come up with something to show the management that the store is worth maintaining for they are now vent of having other moneyed establishment occupy the space. Moving inside the inner core of the dry goods section would surely mean the demise of our bookstore considering how unfriendly the mall have managed the place and the rent is not really that affordable.
Sad as it may, I am not considering of selling the business to someone who could manage it better - improve the store, better shelves, lightings, more goods to sell aside from books. Considering the number of faithful customers who had patronized my store through all those years that had allowed us to stay in business while all around us was suffering from losses, I believe a much improved bookstore and general merchandise would still make good. For me its not the end of a dream but having a dream live beyond me.
I am open to offers, even as a minor partner if ever I am still needed to operate the store. I still have until the end of the year...
Monday, April 3, 2017
V. ZEN AND THE ART OF READING
" Those who do not know cannot tell but those who knows do not tell. " - that sounds crazy, but that is what Zen is all about. It is actually devoid of meaning, and can only be understood through "absorption" or "immersion" from an experience that relates to one's enlightenment regarding a particular subject. In simple terms, one cannot explain fully to a non-reader how a novel composed of hundreds of pages without any pictures in it could arouse one's emotion and imagination.
Take for example the first "real" novel I read - " Love Story" by Erich Segal. I have seen the movie twice before I got to read the novel but the latter proved to be a better experience that mere seeing it on the TV screen. Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal fitted the roles of Jennifer Cavilleri and Oliver Barret to tee, as well as Ray Milland's portrayal of Oliver's father. It was a simple story about a rich boy falling in love with an ordinary girl and a father who wanted more for his son. They got married, went through life for better and for worse until fate left Oliver with a broken heart. The musical score made the movie even better, but reading the book was a lot different than merely watching it on TV.
The movie did not deviated much from the novel, but there is a great divide between watching the things that were happening than "feeling" how it is to there while they were occurring. Reading get you to imagine and feel the experience of falling in love, resenting the people who wanted to break you two apart, and losing the one you held so dearly in your life. I have seen the movie before so I knew what was about to happen including the ending, and yet I failed to hold back the tears when Oliver lost Jenny to cancer.
The sequel was even better - "Oliver's Story". I intentionally did not watch the movie before I read the novel. Jenny is gone and it was time for Oliver to fall in love again. He did found love with someone who was of the same class and everything was going for them. The novel would have had a happy ending until Oliver went back to his old shell after realizing that it would be unfair to his new love to go on with the relationship with a divided heart. Funny but I would have felt the same way, for why erase the memories of a past love when its the real thing that keeps you alive. More so interestingly, Segal's closure of the novel is one of the best I have read so far - " There's only one thing I know, that if Jenny was alive today, I would have been too. "
That's the Zen part of reading - you cannot describe the "feeling" unless you get to read. Reading means different to different people. To some, reality depends on their perception, but for others, their perception is their reality. The best thing about reading is that there are many doors you could choose from depending on how feel like seeing. It could be a source of knowledge and adventure, or a way to learn and experience the different facets of life. And sometimes that where the problem lies - given the number of things you can unravel, you develop more thirst for it ...
Once you have tasted the experience on how you can get "lost and buried " in the pages of the book you read, there is no turning back. Zen, Zen, the Zarapen ...
Take for example the first "real" novel I read - " Love Story" by Erich Segal. I have seen the movie twice before I got to read the novel but the latter proved to be a better experience that mere seeing it on the TV screen. Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal fitted the roles of Jennifer Cavilleri and Oliver Barret to tee, as well as Ray Milland's portrayal of Oliver's father. It was a simple story about a rich boy falling in love with an ordinary girl and a father who wanted more for his son. They got married, went through life for better and for worse until fate left Oliver with a broken heart. The musical score made the movie even better, but reading the book was a lot different than merely watching it on TV.
The movie did not deviated much from the novel, but there is a great divide between watching the things that were happening than "feeling" how it is to there while they were occurring. Reading get you to imagine and feel the experience of falling in love, resenting the people who wanted to break you two apart, and losing the one you held so dearly in your life. I have seen the movie before so I knew what was about to happen including the ending, and yet I failed to hold back the tears when Oliver lost Jenny to cancer.
The sequel was even better - "Oliver's Story". I intentionally did not watch the movie before I read the novel. Jenny is gone and it was time for Oliver to fall in love again. He did found love with someone who was of the same class and everything was going for them. The novel would have had a happy ending until Oliver went back to his old shell after realizing that it would be unfair to his new love to go on with the relationship with a divided heart. Funny but I would have felt the same way, for why erase the memories of a past love when its the real thing that keeps you alive. More so interestingly, Segal's closure of the novel is one of the best I have read so far - " There's only one thing I know, that if Jenny was alive today, I would have been too. "
That's the Zen part of reading - you cannot describe the "feeling" unless you get to read. Reading means different to different people. To some, reality depends on their perception, but for others, their perception is their reality. The best thing about reading is that there are many doors you could choose from depending on how feel like seeing. It could be a source of knowledge and adventure, or a way to learn and experience the different facets of life. And sometimes that where the problem lies - given the number of things you can unravel, you develop more thirst for it ...
Once you have tasted the experience on how you can get "lost and buried " in the pages of the book you read, there is no turning back. Zen, Zen, the Zarapen ...
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
IV. ALL BECAUSE OF A FIRST LOVE
High school days would have been perfect had I not fallen in love for the first time. She was a real beauty and I spent my whole day trying to catch a glimpse of her. We were schoolmates but boys were separated from girls, with the girls taking the morning session while boys hold class in the afternoon. Entering the school building was the most anticipated moment of the day since I got to see her close as they leave class while we come in. We held class at the fourth floor of the Education building so I usually loiter in the the hallway hoping to see her down the football field.
Four years, I never had the guts to tell her how I feel. I didn't find my self attractive enough and with all the other boys hitting at her I thought I did not have a chance. That's when I pretended to be a reader, always holding a paperback novel each time she's near so I could watch her unnoticed. To make good my act, I buy books and Reader's Digest on a regularly. My only recourse then was turn her into literature, writing poems, keeping a scrapbook diary, and holding her in my dreams. Come from all those stupid things I did was my discovery of the make believe world books can bring as well as the knowledge that came with them.
High school ended without me making the first move. I never did even found out where she studied thereafter but her image lingered forever in my dreams until I met her via Internet as our class of '76 created a website for a planned re-union. In my dreams, she was always the teen-age lass with trim mestisa figures and a wonderful smile. But that's the problem with old flames, they too grow old. She still had that kind of smile but doubled in size. The web chat was fun, recalling those crazy, crazy days and at one she said I should have waited. It was a phrase that I have long wanted to hear, but I knew there was no way of coming back. After the re-union, I went back to my old shell, alone with my family and my bookstore.
Loving from a distance was something I was not able to overcome. College days ended the same, me falling in love with every pretty faces I met, but never having the guts to go beyond first base. The only good thing that came out of it were the accumulating number of scrapbooks that I got to keep. More girls, more love letters unsent, poems written but never recited, and books read to at least keep them in my dreams. Things improved a bit in my working days, able to earn a good salary that I were able to practice some love lines with GROs we meet on night spots. Eight years, me and my friends did nothing but wining and whoring around.
Then one day, I came to know a girl crazy enough to fall in love with someone like me. We got married a year later, I stopped writing for a while since I get to say whatever I have in my mind. No more dreams and imaginings, just plain living and learning about how wonderful the life we're living. I never thought living a happy life was that simple - all you have to do is to do the things that you love, love everyone that needs to be love, and keep a distance from people who want to "fix" your life. Life truly is a bed of roses, but you must first remove the thorns before you lie in it.
That's the perks of being a bookseller, you can choose what you wanted to be every day. you could be with Sherlock Holmes solving a murder, be a dashing Rhett Butler every woman loves, or swing like Tarzan, or travel in space with Asimov. You can be anything or anyone. In serious times, you learn things about the world and life and the universe, or even the things that trouble the mind and the hearts of men. And most of all, you can be with people of your own kind, speaking the same language only readers could understand. And once the day is through, you can go back to what you really are, holding hands with the one you love, and free to dream whatever you want.
Four years, I never had the guts to tell her how I feel. I didn't find my self attractive enough and with all the other boys hitting at her I thought I did not have a chance. That's when I pretended to be a reader, always holding a paperback novel each time she's near so I could watch her unnoticed. To make good my act, I buy books and Reader's Digest on a regularly. My only recourse then was turn her into literature, writing poems, keeping a scrapbook diary, and holding her in my dreams. Come from all those stupid things I did was my discovery of the make believe world books can bring as well as the knowledge that came with them.
High school ended without me making the first move. I never did even found out where she studied thereafter but her image lingered forever in my dreams until I met her via Internet as our class of '76 created a website for a planned re-union. In my dreams, she was always the teen-age lass with trim mestisa figures and a wonderful smile. But that's the problem with old flames, they too grow old. She still had that kind of smile but doubled in size. The web chat was fun, recalling those crazy, crazy days and at one she said I should have waited. It was a phrase that I have long wanted to hear, but I knew there was no way of coming back. After the re-union, I went back to my old shell, alone with my family and my bookstore.
Loving from a distance was something I was not able to overcome. College days ended the same, me falling in love with every pretty faces I met, but never having the guts to go beyond first base. The only good thing that came out of it were the accumulating number of scrapbooks that I got to keep. More girls, more love letters unsent, poems written but never recited, and books read to at least keep them in my dreams. Things improved a bit in my working days, able to earn a good salary that I were able to practice some love lines with GROs we meet on night spots. Eight years, me and my friends did nothing but wining and whoring around.
Then one day, I came to know a girl crazy enough to fall in love with someone like me. We got married a year later, I stopped writing for a while since I get to say whatever I have in my mind. No more dreams and imaginings, just plain living and learning about how wonderful the life we're living. I never thought living a happy life was that simple - all you have to do is to do the things that you love, love everyone that needs to be love, and keep a distance from people who want to "fix" your life. Life truly is a bed of roses, but you must first remove the thorns before you lie in it.
That's the perks of being a bookseller, you can choose what you wanted to be every day. you could be with Sherlock Holmes solving a murder, be a dashing Rhett Butler every woman loves, or swing like Tarzan, or travel in space with Asimov. You can be anything or anyone. In serious times, you learn things about the world and life and the universe, or even the things that trouble the mind and the hearts of men. And most of all, you can be with people of your own kind, speaking the same language only readers could understand. And once the day is through, you can go back to what you really are, holding hands with the one you love, and free to dream whatever you want.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
III. HOW IT ALL STARTED
It must be destiny ! From grade 2 to grade 6, my seatmate was the best looking girl in our class. Our seat was not by choice since we were arranged alphabetically. Every boy in class had a crush on her so I have to be better in some way. I became a class clown, and excelled in almost all subjects except mathematics. That's when I learned I have to read to be better. From grade 2 onward I read my books on science, history and literature cover to cover. At home, we always get a copy of Taliba, a tagalog broadsheet newspaper in the 1960's.
I woke up early at 4:30 a.m. to prepare myself for school and to be able to watch on TV the early morning shows on channel 7. The TV station was owned by an American who called himself Uncle Bob, graced the TV screen every morning for the 5 a.m. sign in. The first program of the day was some Popeye cartoons, then Laurel and Hardy and at 6, My Favorite Martian. Class starts at 7 so after the 30 minute Martian comedy, I had to hurry walk 7 blocks for the daily flag ceremony. Class ended at 12 noon so I hurry home just in time for the 12:30 Japanese action series "The Samurai". That's the last show I could watch freely since my elder sisters arrive from school and they like to watch noontime variety show, "Tayo'y Mag-happy Happy". I did not like the show much but I only have no choice so I usually sulk in a corner and just read the newspapers.
Mom was real strict and I was not allowed to play outside with other kids. So while other kids play "Tumbang preso" and "patintero", I was at home practicing my skills in "pick-up sticks" and "jack 'n stone". There were no other programs on TV after 3 p.m. other than old movies, tagalog movies on channel 2 and 5, english movies on channel 13, and some film documentaries and talk shows at channel 7 and 11. Again at 6 p.m., another variety show, "Oras ng Ligaya" which I in some way enjoy because of the comedy and debate portions, usually capped by Apeng Daldal and Sylvia La Torre. Apeng was my guy, witty and smart, and able to debate ala "balagtasan", arguing his case in poetic ways. For that I was called "Apeng" by neighboring kids who made fun of me, and bully me every time I go out.
School was the best place for me then, seated near my first crush and being ranked high especially in class recitations. School is where I got to play boys' games but I like playing marbles best though I could not excel in the game. One of my close friend lives on "the easy street" and he brings to school some of his Marvel Comics collection which I got to read during recess time. That was the start of my addiction to comics, the locally published ones since Marvel and DC comics cost a fortune even in those days. Mom always buy "Liwayway" and "Kislap" magazine, my sisters "Wakasan" and "Tagalog Classics", while I opted for "Pogi Comics". My favorite comics character was "Singko Nire", a comical secret agent patterned from the James Bond 007 star, Sean Connery. It was the time when "singko" (5 centavos) can buy you a cup of rice, and another "singko" for some fried tuyo or "galunggong". So for the monicker, Sinko Nire's favorite place was a turo-turo where he gets his regular meal before going to his secret mission.
What really tickled my curiosity in my grade school days was the magazine my Mom buys but hide under the mattresses after reading. So one time while Mom was outside vending fruits, I took the magazine out and read what it was all about. It was the "Tiktik Magazine", mostly about murder, rape and other brutal crimes taken from police files. It was a rated R type of reading material that was not suited for kids my age, but even in those days grade schoolers talk about those X-rated things so were not really that innocent.
I don't know how I get to remember this things in clear details. I must really be getting old. Old is when you forget the simple things like where you placed your keys and the like, but recall things that you thought you have forgotten. The funny thing is, you get to smile about the stupid and embarassing situations you got yourself into, but feel like crying each time you remember the happy moments you had with people you love. That's what makes reading a "real" pleasure - you get to relive the old times you've had, and get immersed in the flow of the story as if you were living it. How hard it is to explain this feeling to someone who sees nothing but bookprints and ask "how can you enjoy this stuff, over an inch thick with no pictures ?"
I came to know why... and that's how it all started.
I woke up early at 4:30 a.m. to prepare myself for school and to be able to watch on TV the early morning shows on channel 7. The TV station was owned by an American who called himself Uncle Bob, graced the TV screen every morning for the 5 a.m. sign in. The first program of the day was some Popeye cartoons, then Laurel and Hardy and at 6, My Favorite Martian. Class starts at 7 so after the 30 minute Martian comedy, I had to hurry walk 7 blocks for the daily flag ceremony. Class ended at 12 noon so I hurry home just in time for the 12:30 Japanese action series "The Samurai". That's the last show I could watch freely since my elder sisters arrive from school and they like to watch noontime variety show, "Tayo'y Mag-happy Happy". I did not like the show much but I only have no choice so I usually sulk in a corner and just read the newspapers.
Mom was real strict and I was not allowed to play outside with other kids. So while other kids play "Tumbang preso" and "patintero", I was at home practicing my skills in "pick-up sticks" and "jack 'n stone". There were no other programs on TV after 3 p.m. other than old movies, tagalog movies on channel 2 and 5, english movies on channel 13, and some film documentaries and talk shows at channel 7 and 11. Again at 6 p.m., another variety show, "Oras ng Ligaya" which I in some way enjoy because of the comedy and debate portions, usually capped by Apeng Daldal and Sylvia La Torre. Apeng was my guy, witty and smart, and able to debate ala "balagtasan", arguing his case in poetic ways. For that I was called "Apeng" by neighboring kids who made fun of me, and bully me every time I go out.
School was the best place for me then, seated near my first crush and being ranked high especially in class recitations. School is where I got to play boys' games but I like playing marbles best though I could not excel in the game. One of my close friend lives on "the easy street" and he brings to school some of his Marvel Comics collection which I got to read during recess time. That was the start of my addiction to comics, the locally published ones since Marvel and DC comics cost a fortune even in those days. Mom always buy "Liwayway" and "Kislap" magazine, my sisters "Wakasan" and "Tagalog Classics", while I opted for "Pogi Comics". My favorite comics character was "Singko Nire", a comical secret agent patterned from the James Bond 007 star, Sean Connery. It was the time when "singko" (5 centavos) can buy you a cup of rice, and another "singko" for some fried tuyo or "galunggong". So for the monicker, Sinko Nire's favorite place was a turo-turo where he gets his regular meal before going to his secret mission.
What really tickled my curiosity in my grade school days was the magazine my Mom buys but hide under the mattresses after reading. So one time while Mom was outside vending fruits, I took the magazine out and read what it was all about. It was the "Tiktik Magazine", mostly about murder, rape and other brutal crimes taken from police files. It was a rated R type of reading material that was not suited for kids my age, but even in those days grade schoolers talk about those X-rated things so were not really that innocent.
I don't know how I get to remember this things in clear details. I must really be getting old. Old is when you forget the simple things like where you placed your keys and the like, but recall things that you thought you have forgotten. The funny thing is, you get to smile about the stupid and embarassing situations you got yourself into, but feel like crying each time you remember the happy moments you had with people you love. That's what makes reading a "real" pleasure - you get to relive the old times you've had, and get immersed in the flow of the story as if you were living it. How hard it is to explain this feeling to someone who sees nothing but bookprints and ask "how can you enjoy this stuff, over an inch thick with no pictures ?"
I came to know why... and that's how it all started.
Monday, March 20, 2017
II. THE METAMORPHOSIS OF A BOOKSELLER
"Books let us into their soul and lay open to us the secrets of our own." by William Hazlitt.
I thought I was destined to be an engineer but my heart was not it. A good engineer is honed by the experience he goes through while performing his responsibilities. I was lucky enough to be one of the 42 cadet engineers chosen from hundreds of applicants. It was a good start. I made a lot friends and performing our duties was a walk in the park since knowledge of what to do was easy and there were plenty of guys to cover for my shortcomings. The only difference was, while they were busy adding some skills and experience, I was having a good time enjoying the perks of a high paying job. I was the go-to-guy in report making having a better mastery of correspondence, but in terms of engineering skills, I pale in comparison to my peers.
When MWSS went bankrupt, and about to be privatized, my friends were ready for jobs in the Middle East while I have to consider other options. They were thrilled with the complexities of construction while I find it boring since like in the tunneling works we were assigned to in our early years, things are practically the same after the first 50 meters. The same with roads, after the first 100 meters, construction becomes a routine. We only get to supervise so that the works will be done according to the plans and specifications. I couldn't focus that long so I always ended thinking of something else. As they watch the workers do their thing, I watch the girls passing by. I couldn't imagine myself doing this things in a foreign land where staring at women is a crime. Ten years of working and all I did was wining and whoring around. Going into business proved to be a more attractive choice for me then.
Newly married with a one year old daughter, I have to earn a living where I could maximize my time with them. That's when I decided to put up a buy and sell business in my parent's place after I resigned from my job. I would have been the first to put up a computer rental shop in 1990 in our place with 4 units of 486 PC's, a dot matrix printer and photocopier, but thanks to President Cory and her daily 12 hours brown-outs, I have to work on something else. That's when I concentrated on books and other reading materials. With no electricity most of the day, people found reading as the cheapest alternative to TV sets.
I was only in my early 30's when I started the business and one thing that really made my day was having the chance to talk with women. Since tagalog pocketbooks was the "in" thing in the 1990's, 9 out of 10 customers were women, mostly housewives who come to the store to swap books was a part of their daily marketing routine. I get more than a hundred smiles per day apart from the earnings, and I found out that book lovers speak a different language. The "Eureka" look when they found the title they were looking for, and the sincere kind of smile when they found the books to their liking. And the one that I like the most - the "gracious smile" when the book I recommended for them to read touched their heart.
After only a year of the book business, I came to discover a lot about myself. Things that never even occur to me in my younger days. I was destined for this kind of job, not only because I love what I was doing but also the fact that I was good in it. People appreciate what I am able to share with them, and in return, I too learn a lot from most of them.
I thought I was destined to be an engineer but my heart was not it. A good engineer is honed by the experience he goes through while performing his responsibilities. I was lucky enough to be one of the 42 cadet engineers chosen from hundreds of applicants. It was a good start. I made a lot friends and performing our duties was a walk in the park since knowledge of what to do was easy and there were plenty of guys to cover for my shortcomings. The only difference was, while they were busy adding some skills and experience, I was having a good time enjoying the perks of a high paying job. I was the go-to-guy in report making having a better mastery of correspondence, but in terms of engineering skills, I pale in comparison to my peers.
When MWSS went bankrupt, and about to be privatized, my friends were ready for jobs in the Middle East while I have to consider other options. They were thrilled with the complexities of construction while I find it boring since like in the tunneling works we were assigned to in our early years, things are practically the same after the first 50 meters. The same with roads, after the first 100 meters, construction becomes a routine. We only get to supervise so that the works will be done according to the plans and specifications. I couldn't focus that long so I always ended thinking of something else. As they watch the workers do their thing, I watch the girls passing by. I couldn't imagine myself doing this things in a foreign land where staring at women is a crime. Ten years of working and all I did was wining and whoring around. Going into business proved to be a more attractive choice for me then.
Newly married with a one year old daughter, I have to earn a living where I could maximize my time with them. That's when I decided to put up a buy and sell business in my parent's place after I resigned from my job. I would have been the first to put up a computer rental shop in 1990 in our place with 4 units of 486 PC's, a dot matrix printer and photocopier, but thanks to President Cory and her daily 12 hours brown-outs, I have to work on something else. That's when I concentrated on books and other reading materials. With no electricity most of the day, people found reading as the cheapest alternative to TV sets.
I was only in my early 30's when I started the business and one thing that really made my day was having the chance to talk with women. Since tagalog pocketbooks was the "in" thing in the 1990's, 9 out of 10 customers were women, mostly housewives who come to the store to swap books was a part of their daily marketing routine. I get more than a hundred smiles per day apart from the earnings, and I found out that book lovers speak a different language. The "Eureka" look when they found the title they were looking for, and the sincere kind of smile when they found the books to their liking. And the one that I like the most - the "gracious smile" when the book I recommended for them to read touched their heart.
After only a year of the book business, I came to discover a lot about myself. Things that never even occur to me in my younger days. I was destined for this kind of job, not only because I love what I was doing but also the fact that I was good in it. People appreciate what I am able to share with them, and in return, I too learn a lot from most of them.
Saturday, March 18, 2017
I. ANY DAY COULD BE A FRESH START ...
Some 30 years ago, I made myself a promise, - I will never again look at my self as just another failure. I then have a good paying job that allowed me to enjoy the perks of being a professional, but there was one draw back. I have to scratch other people back, laugh at their tasteless and corny jokes, and do reports that do not really reflect the type of work that are being done in the field. That was the easy, the harder part was dragging yourself to work every day with people you do not want to be with, and doing the type of work you never did learn to enjoy. Getting promoted proved stressful, and being transferred to a different department away from my usual friends, was took its toll on me and I thought of leaving. That started it all. I changed gear and into a world I have long been with since my childhood days - the buying and selling business.
Find a work you truly enjoy and you never have to work for the rest of your life - that's how the Chinese proverb goes. Be your own boss. We did good the first 2 years, but a fire razed our store to the ground. We did managed to recover our loss ground, but some other screw ups caused us to lose everything we've worked for and its been uphill eversince. With 5 kids to send through college, we spend more than we earned at times, and debts mounted neck deep, so we lagged behind. Failure is what some people regard us, but we never really stopped trying. Our 16 hour a day work routine, 365 day a year effort, somehow carried us to meet our needs but not enough to rise above water. We just take one day at a time, pray and hope for patience like Job, and hang on to our faith that only a few more years to go, we'll be able to go up the easy street. Life may be hard but did managed to squeeze in some fun and laughter as we go through our days.
Everyday, as the sun rises on its horizon, is a sign that it is never too late to forget how you screw up in the past and make a brand new start. The good thing about the future is that it comes comes one day at a time, and though we do not enjoy the same perks other people have in life, each one of us is measured by how much we fill our life with what is given to us. Life is but a tapestry, each one of us a thread, that holds the tapestry together to create a grand design. Some believe that we are the master of our fate, while others believe that everything is pre-arranged and no matter how hard we struggle we are fated to fulfill a destiny. But its more fun to take your chances once in a while and watch how the chips fall to where it may.
Think yourself lucky ! You cannot regarded as a failure if you haven't stopped trying. As Muhammad Ali use to say - " There's nothing wrong with getting knocked down, its staying down that's wrong !" That's why our life is divided into days. We sleep at the day's end, at times even having some dreams whose meaning are hard to interpret, and wake up to a new sunrise in the morning. What's done is done, and no matter how hard we try we could no longer take back the bad things we have said but we could correct or atone for the wrong things we've done. So we just have to fill in for the new day, maybe not enough to cover up for what we lost in the past days but good enough to have a fresh new start ...
Find a work you truly enjoy and you never have to work for the rest of your life - that's how the Chinese proverb goes. Be your own boss. We did good the first 2 years, but a fire razed our store to the ground. We did managed to recover our loss ground, but some other screw ups caused us to lose everything we've worked for and its been uphill eversince. With 5 kids to send through college, we spend more than we earned at times, and debts mounted neck deep, so we lagged behind. Failure is what some people regard us, but we never really stopped trying. Our 16 hour a day work routine, 365 day a year effort, somehow carried us to meet our needs but not enough to rise above water. We just take one day at a time, pray and hope for patience like Job, and hang on to our faith that only a few more years to go, we'll be able to go up the easy street. Life may be hard but did managed to squeeze in some fun and laughter as we go through our days.
Everyday, as the sun rises on its horizon, is a sign that it is never too late to forget how you screw up in the past and make a brand new start. The good thing about the future is that it comes comes one day at a time, and though we do not enjoy the same perks other people have in life, each one of us is measured by how much we fill our life with what is given to us. Life is but a tapestry, each one of us a thread, that holds the tapestry together to create a grand design. Some believe that we are the master of our fate, while others believe that everything is pre-arranged and no matter how hard we struggle we are fated to fulfill a destiny. But its more fun to take your chances once in a while and watch how the chips fall to where it may.
Think yourself lucky ! You cannot regarded as a failure if you haven't stopped trying. As Muhammad Ali use to say - " There's nothing wrong with getting knocked down, its staying down that's wrong !" That's why our life is divided into days. We sleep at the day's end, at times even having some dreams whose meaning are hard to interpret, and wake up to a new sunrise in the morning. What's done is done, and no matter how hard we try we could no longer take back the bad things we have said but we could correct or atone for the wrong things we've done. So we just have to fill in for the new day, maybe not enough to cover up for what we lost in the past days but good enough to have a fresh new start ...
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