I earned my PRC license in 1983 on my second try. I was not really very proud of it then since I was the only one who failed in our first try ( there were 24 of us and one landed 2nd place). It made my parents real proud but unfortunately their dream was not my dream. I did landed a good job, a promising one during that time, since we were assigned at the fore front of the planned water service project that would modernize the entire Metro-Manila. Unfortunately, Cory Aquino came to power and decreed that all Marcos proposed projects are to be shelved and that ended our dream of becoming the future project managers of other project components that were soon to follow.
The new administration that prided itself to be incorruptible bloated the MWSS plantilla from 3000+ to 16,000+ employees in just over a year and it was no surprise that after 4 years, the company went bankrupt and had to be privatized. I ended up in a job assignment that was a poor use of our training while my peers found work in the Middle-East constructing desalinization plants and underground silos for defensive weapons. Having had over a year of experience how lonesome it was to be in a field assignment where you could only go home on weekends, I opted not to go since I was then newly married and yearly furlough to me then was unthinkable. Besides, no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't use to playing the kind of game one had to play in a corporate world. My heart was simply not into it and I sought escape from the pressure and stress that managing other people brings.
It was then that I came back to where I started from, having acted as a second to my father in running our fruit business. I opted for a different product though, conducive to my moods and compulsive behavior. And that was how I ended up with the book business. Everyday for the last 27 years I do nothing but read, scrawl notes, watch movies, exchange ideas with customers, and do some writing at the end of the day. I earn from the effort to provide for my family's needs and get to daydream the minutes in between. As Goodrich use to say, " I have earned my Master of Art degree in Daydreaming."
It was a complete turn around from the world I use to live in - and since that day I have neglected connecting with former friends until I found myself detached. I found no need for a cellphone that I stopped using one about ten years ago. My world became my family, my bookstore, and my imagination. My counter became my podium where I get to share the useless information I picked up from the books I read and movies and documentaries I've seen. My suppose to be legacy lies in the volumes of scrapbooks I've kept through the years of notes and cut-outs pasted on its pages. Add to this the blogging and the playlist that I hope my kids would one day find interest playing for them to be reminded me of when I'm gone.
All my kids turned out to be more interested in numbers than the letters I have enjoyed juggling through all my years. But up to this time, they still listen to whatever I have to say and still find my jokes funny. So I guess it would just be a matter of time when they would one day turn the pages of the cartoons and jokes I clipped from the old magazine and newspaper I read. The things I wrote which I never got to say to them, would one day too will be read so they'll know that even when we're not together its them I have in mind most of the time. Never wanted to hold them on a leash, for I thought that the less rules I make, the less I have to worry about them breaking it. To see them laughing, smiling, and home each was more than what could make my day. Hope that maybe when they are gone and had families of their own they'll still try to connect with us. I don't like to bet on that but one thing sure, so I stocked up memories to hang on when I have nothing more to do but ride on my rocking chair waiting for my time to end.
I am not stopping. With visions fading, as well as my troubled hearing, and arthritis crippling my hands, I still continue with my reading, my writings, my cut-outs, and my talking. I have yet to earn my Doctorate degree in caring. I've been down so many times, I haven't really leveled up to a day when I can do more than just share my thoughts. I hope someday I could still have time to connect with the old friends and relatives. I had to tell them that I haven't really forgotten the good times we've had. Just have to leave for a long while to nurse my wounds and once completely healed, get back to them and share some good times together.
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